The three–no, six–loves.

Fox News recently ran this column by “sexpert” Dr Yvonne Fulbright partially reviewing Jenny Block’s new book Open, a memoir detailing her marriage’s transition from cheating to polyamory. (Disclaimer: I have not read Ms. Block’s book.)

Dr Fulbright’s column begins with the misuse of a philosophical term of art (“begging the question” is not “manifestly asking something”) and continues on through some fairly pedestrian musings on the nature of relationships only to bring the reader up short with a description of “multiple types of love”, supposedly as named by the Greeks, complete with names for these love styles. In Greek. Sort of (about which more in a moment). In reality, this list of “love types” has been lifted without attribution from John Lee, who published a book, The colors of love (1973) and then an article, “Love Styles” in The psychology of love (1988). Let us take a closer look.

Fulbright writes:

While our society has set one standard for love and relationships, other societies have recognized that multiple types of each exist. The Greeks had several words for different types of love, including:

Eros –- erotic love involving physical attraction and emotional intensity;

Agape –- sacrificial love involving placing a loved one’s welfare above your own;

Storge –- love as friendship and companionship;

Pragma –- love as a “shopping list” of desired attributes, such as being a good parent;

Ludus –- love as a game;

Mania –- jealous, obsessive, dependent love.

This seems pretty straightforward. The Greeks were so advanced that they had sixty words for love! This is like the eighty Inuit words for snow. Now I feel enlightened about the linguistic nobility of the savages, and am definitely ready to kick ass at Trivial Pursuit.

Except for a few slight problems. Let’s start with the most egregious.

Ludus is Latin, not Greek. It means “game”. In a sexual context it can mean a love-game, flirtation, or sportive romantic or sexual play, but that meaning is only in context. If you read ludus and it’s not in a romantic context, read “game”. If it occurs in a civic context, particularly in connection with a large amount of money, it probably refers to gladiatorial games.

Ερως (eros) is love or desire, but any qualifications regarding intensity or attraction are going to be expressed using context and modifiers; they are not inherent in the word. This word is also not strictly sexual: you can have an ερως for something as well as for someone.

Αγαπη (agape) is just love. It’s often used to mean something like charity, or the love of brothers or friends. In the New Testament it becomes a sexless divine love, but that is decidedly a post-classical meaning.

Στοργη (storge) is love or affection. Antipho uses it to specifically denote parental or filial love.

Πραγμα (pragma) is the most puzzling word included in Lee’s list of “love types”, because it has nothing to do with love at all. Πραγμα is a deed, a task, an accomplishment, an act; in plural it can refer to politics, and the negative sense (indicated by context) is used to refer to problems, troubles, or annoyances. It comes from the verb πρασσω: to do, to accomplish, to be busy about. I literally have no idea where the idea that it could mean anything connected with love could possibly have come from; I’ve never run across any of the πρασσω-derivatives meaning anything like that in actual Greek.

And last, but not least, μανια just means frenzy or madness, as it does in English. I will give Lee the benefit of the doubt and assume that his impression of the word is colored by its frequent use in the Medea, but even so he is wrong–Medea’s μανια is just that–madness, frenzy–inspired by jealousy, perhaps, in part, but mostly just her being absolutely nutbar.

Among the many things about this list that puzzle me is the fact that φιλια, the traditional companion of ερως and αγαπη in modern rhetoric about the types of love, has been omitted. Perhaps Lee felt his readers would be unable to separate it from “paraphilia”.